Reflection: Growing gracefully

How do you feel about growing older?

It happens to everyone, but experiencing it while being single feels particularly complicated. Normally, people marry when they’re young and attractive, and a husband and wife grow older together, with not only the security of that commitment already made, but the process being a team experience. Going through this outside that, when you need/want to remain attractive to the opposite sex, make and maintain friendships as a more important part of wellbeing than for those who are married, and continue to grow into wisdom and grace along the way, the weight of all the various things that getting older brings with it feels heavy to carry.

I read an interesting article back in December that made me think about this in a new way. The author reviews Adam Miller’s book, Mormon: A Brief Theological Introduction, noting what stood out as he read. Sacrifice is a theme, with unique connections I hadn’t considered before. Neither the article nor the book are about the experience of ageing, but their insights are applicable to it and to many other things we struggle with in life. I recommend reading the article and seeing what it inspires you to look at differently.

The key insight is that everything mortal ends, and is also always beginning. Things are born and pass away. Some things are valuable; many are not. Are we holding on to things that don’t matter, which are going to pass away, as though they belong to us? Do we bury our treasures in the earth and despair when they disappear?

I thought about how I might, instead, choose to gracefully give up youthfulness, with its attractiveness, energy, confidence, and more - or any other things I’m holding onto that aren’t really mine, and isn’t really important, and might actually keep me from following God wholeheartedly. Since I lose those things, anyway, because mortal things are always dying, and new things taking their place, can I - can we - accept their impermanence and appreciate them as gifts for a time, to learn from and bless with, and then welcome what replaces them, in the same way?

Can we love this process of development - this stage of our eternal development - as a period of life in a complete and experience-filled eternal existence? Adam Miller’s question is, what if we willingly gave up all these earthly things (which aren’t ours, really), as sacrifices on the altar to God, where we always receive in return abundance and the opening up to another level of existence. Can we humbly and with good humour “willingly lose all things”, making space to see ourselves more accurately, in our eternal identities as sons and daughters of God who were created so we could grow in light and truth, receiving all that He has to give?

On Instagram

More thoughts about loss and sacrifice from Adam Miller (+ me)

Try your waterfall photos this way.

What if joy and sorrow can coexist?

Happiness facts

• Circumstances account for 10% of long-term happiness

• Genetics determine 50% of our happiness potential (how happy we feel)

• Our state of mind accounts for the rest - 40%

Even though we learn certain ways of thinking about things during childhood that influence our happiness levels, that’s part of the 40% that’s adaptable. We can learn happiness 🙂.

How did you go with the resistance training from the last issue? Did you add any exercises to your routine, or start one?

How’s your habit-tracking going? Are you seeing progress in the behaviours you’re trying to change or start?

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I’m definitely still welcoming answers to my questions in the last edition about the contents of the newsletter, too. Answer away!